Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Posted by \m/ The Power of the Riff \m/ | File under :





THE RIFF WHICH MADE YOU WANT TO PLAY THE GUITAR IS?
Dirty Deeds by AC/DC of course.

WHAT IS THE FIRST RIFF YOU LEARNED TO PLAY?
Dirty Deeds by AC/DC of course.

YOUR TOP THREE METAL RIFFERS ARE?
Ludvig Bong Beertoven - This guy took Broseph Highgain’s contrapuntal 5/4 no-peak noodle-shop and added tits and ass

Dirtytree Shockacoldish - Every riff this guy played was with his Adam’s apple. He only played one because it killed him, but what a riff

Ike Turner - Big wheels keep on Turner

WHO IS THE MASTER OF THE RIFF?
Nobody master-bates like Curious George

THE RIFF WHICH IS THE SOUNDTRACK TO YOUR LIFE IS?
It goes dun—dun-dun—dundundundundun-dumb-DAH

THE RIFF YOU WISH YOU WROTE IS?
I Don’t Own Anything by Svlphvrvs

THE WORST METAL RIFF EVER IS?
I Don’t Own Anything by Svlphvrvs

RIFF FOR RIFF YOUR FIVE FAVOURITE ALBUMS ARE?

I’ve Fallen And I Can’t Get Up, the not-yet-released Burzum record written from his cell in the prison retirement home in which he’ll be living in 2035. It’ll pop your inflatable hemorrhoid cushion.

Richard Marx self-titled debut record is packed full of awesome riffage. Later albums of his get a bit too experimental for my tastes, but this one is raw and viscous.

Two Dicks Walk Into A Bar That Is Your Mother’s Lower Orifices by The Dong Tribe

Billy Squire knows his was around a guitar it’s no secret. Don’t Say No is one of the most original albums of the last decade everyone knows that.

I can’t leave out a riff for riff list without mentioning the record Riff For Riff by Buddy Jolly and the Riff Listers

A NON METALHEAD ASKS YOU WHAT DOES METAL SOUND LIKE, THE RIFF YOU PLAY THEM IS?
Usually I play them When A Man Loves A Woman by Michael Bolton with my mouth-guitar.

THE RIFF YOU WANT PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL IS?
Whitesnake’s Here I Go Again on bagpipes goddammit

WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT RIFFS ANYWAY?

I like how they don’t get stuck in your teeth. 

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